Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Underrated Faithfulness

I can say that the human mind is limited. It cannot be filled, but some limits can cause it to malfunction when reached. There are things that we set with our minds that serve as our goals or focus.
Most of the time when we focus on a certain objective, we become very attentive to it. Also, if an unusual event occurs, especially if it brings discomfort or excitement, our mind turns its focus to it.
If that happens, we simply lose track of our regular pattern. We become disoriented by other concerns and happenings in our lives. For example, when a problem comes, we set our mind on it with so much eagerness to solve and overcome the problem. We become too preoccupied that we close ourselves to any other things around us. I could totally understand why a person becomes inefficient when she has a burden on her shoulders. The problem is so complicated that it could spring out of its roots and immobilize our being. We become disassociated with the real world and the problem becomes our world. I could definitely attest to it.
This year started with a lot of worries in my mind. As the days, weeks, and months passed I was able to prove that my instincts were really accurate. I went through thunders and high waters. I felt that everything just poured out simultaneously and endlessly, from the constant challenges from my family, time-bound demands from work, confusing issues of friends and the people around me, and even the war I have within myself. Since I was too attentive to my trial, I became accessible to fear, doubt, and lots of worries. These negative virtues fed on my vulnerability. That moment where I smile but would feel silly because it doesn't really feel right. That instance where I could feel my head seemed so heavy that what I could only do was to keep my head ducked down the entire time.
My mind is so heavy and exhausted that I can not even think straight. It is so much that all I just want to do is to take it out and the only way to do that is to wail, yet even my tear ducts might have dried up because of too much stress.
I have been like that as the days keep going by. With each passing day, I noticed joy estranged me. What I have in me are all sentiments. Profound sentiments about my life. Bitterness stalked me. Loneliness came. Self-pity followed. On the contrary, hope though barely breathing, remains.
Despite feeling awful, I never missed reading and doing my devotions every day with little hope that God would be able to turn around my situation.
And HE never failed, has never failed, never fails, and will not fail. That little hope in me pumped me up and made a big difference. That Sunday was my headway. During the praise and worship the song " Goodness of God" was sung. Suddenly I felt my throat grow tighter. My mind was eventually enlightened when the lyrics of the song struck my heart. From there, my tear ducts which have been experiencing drought for a long time overflowed and even flooded. FAITHFULNESS. That was the word, in all caps, that God instilled in my heart.
When I was on the battlefield, my mind was clouded with all the negativity. I was too busy thinking of solutions and a way out. It didn't even come to me that through all those things, through the years, His faithfulness to me has never changed. His goodness for me has never diminished even a little bit.
His goodness even came running after me every time, yet I failed to see it in the process.
After that moment I held a tight grip on His faithfulness. When I did that, everything was restored. I traced back to all of my previous devotional topics during those hard times, and it overwhelmed me when I saw that every topic highlighted His goodness and faithfulness in my life. I was too blinded to see and discern it.
Yes, when this world is too chaotic to deal with, we become numb, blind, and weak, and we fail to remember that we have a BIG GOD who can do even the impossible things for us. We tend to forget that all throughout our life His faithfulness remains and never falters.
Now as I cling to Him, I have received incomparable joy. I have gained indestructible faith and trust. I am blessed with immeasurable strength and endurance.
When we are faithless, He remains faithful.
When we are hopeless, He restores us.
When we are weak, He makes us strong.
When we are blind, He makes us see.

Through the LORD’s mercies, we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“ Therefore I hope in Him!”
Lamentations 3:22-24

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