Wednesday, June 05, 2024

A Friend Named.... Ceiling

Late at night, when the world outside my window has surrendered to the quiet stillness of slumber, I lie awake in my bed, tracing invisible patterns on the ceiling above me. It has become my silent companion, an impartial witness to the thoughts that swirl relentlessly through my mind. The ceiling, with its cracks and specks, has become a canvas for my restless imagination, a space where I can project my innermost musings and fears.

I remember when our nights used to be filled with whispered secrets and shared dreams. But those nights seem distant now, like echoes fading into the night.

Tonight, as the shadows lengthen and the moon casts a pale glow through the curtains, I can't help but feel the weight of your absence. You are here, yet so far away. 

As I stare up at the ceiling, I find myself creating stories in the patterns of the plaster. There is a crack that runs from one corner to the other, and I imagine it as a river, winding its way through a forgotten land. In my mind's eye, I follow its course, letting it take me far from this room and the ache in my heart.

I have become friends with the ceiling, confiding in it the secrets I can no longer share with you. It listens without judgment, a silent sentinel to my midnight confessions. I tell it of my longing, my confusion and my hurts. I trace the lines with my eyes, as if seeking answers in the chaos of the patterns.

Each night, I find solace in my newfound friend. The ceiling does not demand explanations or offer false reassurances. It simply exists, steady and unchanging, a stark contrast to the shifting sands of our relationship. I envy its constancy, its ability to remain unaffected by the storms that rage below.

I remember the first time I noticed the distance growing between us. It was a gradual thing, creeping in like the slow spread of dawn light. At first, it was subtle – a missed call, a distracted look, a conversation cut short. But over time, it became impossible to ignore. You were physically present, but emotionally absent, your mind occupied by thoughts of someone else.

I tried to reach out, to bridge the gap, but my efforts seemed futile. The more I tried to hold on, the further you slipped away. I began to feel like a ghost, haunting the edges of your life, unseen and unheard. And so, I turned to the only thing that seemed to understand – the ceiling.

In the quiet hours of the night, I tell it of my dreams, my hopes for the future.  The ceiling offers no answers, only the steady comfort of its presence.

As the nights pass, I find myself growing stronger in the silence. The ceiling has taught me to embrace the stillness, to find peace in the quiet moments. I learn to be content with my own company, to find strength within myself. I realize that I cannot make you nor force you to stay. All I can do is be true to myself, to hold on to the person I am becoming.

And so, I continue to confide in the ceiling, my steadfast friend. I share my fears, my triumphs, my small victories. I tell it of the days when I feel strong, when I can face the world with a smile. I speak of the nights when the loneliness threatens to overwhelm me, when the ache in my heart feels unbearable.

Through it all, the ceiling remains, a silent witness to my journey. It has seen me at my weakest, my most vulnerable, and yet it does not judge. It simply exists, a constant presence in a world that feels ever-changing.

I am learning to accept it, to find peace in the knowledge that I cannot control one's feelings toward me. I can only control my own, and in that, I find a measure of strength.

The ceiling has become a symbol of my resilience, a reminder that I can endure, that I can find my way through the darkness. It has shown me that I am not alone, that even in the silence, there is companionship to be found.

And so, I continue to make friends with the ceiling, to find solace in its steady presence. I know that the road ahead will not be easy, that there will be days when the loneliness feels overwhelming. But I also know that I am stronger than I once believed, that I can find my way through the darkness.

As I lie here, staring up at the ceiling, I make a promise to myself. I will not be defined by the loss. I will find my own way, my own path, and I will walk it with my head held high. The ceiling has taught me that I can endure, that I can find strength in the quiet moments.

And so, I close my eyes, letting the comfort of the ceiling's presence wash over me. I may be alone, but I am not lost. I am finding my way, one night at a time, with the ceiling as my steadfast friend.

Monday, May 13, 2024

My Comet

Once upon a time, in the vast expanse of the cosmos, there was a solitary comet drifting through the darkness. It traveled aimlessly, its path dictated by the whims of the universe. It was a celestial wanderer, neither bound by gravity nor tethered to any particular star.

Much like this comet, you entered my life—an unexpected, dazzling presence amidst the mundane routine of my existence. You brought with you the brightness that illuminated the darkest corners of my soul, casting aside shadows of doubt and loneliness. With each encounter, you left behind a trail of wonder and awe, like the brilliant tail of a comet streaking across the night sky.

But just as swiftly as you appeared, you would fade away, disappearing into the depths of space, leaving me longing for your return. I would gaze up at the heavens, searching for any sign of your presence, but you remained elusive, a fleeting specter in the cosmic dance.

Much like the comet, you were unpredictable and elusive, your orbit intersecting with mine only briefly before you continued on your solitary journey through the cosmos. You eluded me at every turn, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. And just like the comet, you left me longing for more, yearning for a connection that was never meant to be. And though I wished for nothing more than to hold onto you, to tether you to my life like a star bound to its galaxy, I knew deep down that you were meant to roam freely, unrestrained by earthly bonds.

And so, I watched from afar as you faded into the distance, a bittersweet reminder of the transient nature of beauty and love in this vast universe. Like the comet, you would forever remain etched in the fabric of my being, a poignant reminder of the beauty that exists in fleeting moments of connection amidst the vast expanse of eternity. 

Saturday, April 13, 2024

Sudden Indifference

In the quiet of twilight's embrace,

A story unfolds, a somber grace.

When he, with silent steps, does part,

Leaving behind a fractured heart.

Once entwined in a tapestry of dreams,

Now torn asunder, or so it seems.

His departure whispers secrets untold,

Leaving me stranded, shivering, and cold.

In the corridors of memory's maze,

His presence fades, lost in the haze.

No longer familiar, his face grown strange,

A specter haunting the winds of change.

Gone are the days of laughter and light,

Now swallowed by the depths of night.

Left to wander in this realm alone,

A stranger in a world once known.

Yet amidst the ache, a flicker ignites,

A flame of resilience amidst the nights.

For though he's left, I'll find my way,

Reclaiming my voice, come what may.

So let him go, let him fade into mist,

For in his absence, I shall persist.

No longer defined by his departure's sting,

I'll rise anew, a phoenix taking wing.

In the quiet echo of fading whispers,

He chose a path diverging from mine,

A journey onward, leaving me behind,

In the shadowed corners of his past.

Once, his gaze traced constellations in my eyes,

A universe of shared dreams and whispered hopes,

But now, his attention drifts like autumn leaves,

Scattered, forgotten in the winds of change.

His footsteps falter, straying from our familiar path,

Leaving me stranded in the silence of his absence,

Like a forgotten verse in an unwritten poem,

Lost amidst the pages of time's relentless march.

I linger in the spaces where his presence once danced,

A ghost of memories haunting empty rooms,

Longing for the warmth of his gaze,

Yet finding only the chill of indifference.

But in the quiet of this solitude,

I find strength in the echoes of my own voice,

For I am more than a footnote in his story,

I am the author of my own journey's arc.

Though he may choose to move on,

Leaving me like a stranger in his tale,

I will forge ahead with unwavering resolve,

Writing my own narrative, bold and free. 

Thursday, March 07, 2024

Mirror, Mirror

 In the gentle echo of a whispered conversation,

Where words find solace in mutual fascination,

There lies a wondrous phenomenon, sweet and rare,

Where two souls align in a symphony of shared affair.

It's in the subtlety of his smile, the glint in his eye,

When he discovers my passions, he doesn't deny.

For in the depths of his listening, a treasure he finds,

A glimpse into the world that occupies my mind.

When he likes what I like because he heard it from me,

It's as if he's opened a door, inviting me to see,

That in the realm of our interests, there's room to explore,

A landscape of wonder and discovery galore.

He takes my words not as mere passing breeze,

But as whispers of truth, as gentle pleas,

To delve into the realms that ignite my flame,

To share in the joy, to play in the same game.

It's not just the objects, the books, or the art,

But the essence of connection that sets us apart.

For in his mirrored admiration, I find a kindred soul,

Whose heart beats in rhythm with mine, making me whole.

In his willingness to embrace what I hold dear,

I see the depth of his care, crystal clear.

For it's not about the things, but the bond we share,

In the moments of likeness, in the love that's there.

So when he likes what I like because he heard it from me,

It's a testament to the magic that's meant to be.

For in his mirrored affection, I find my guide,

Navigating life's journey, side by side.

Through laughter and tears, through joy and strife,

His mirrored likes are a reflection of life.

And in the symphony of our shared affection,

We find solace, we find connection.

So here's to the beauty of mirrored delight,

To the dance of souls in the quiet of night.

For in his mirrored likes, I see a love that's true,

A love that echoes my own, in all that we do.

Monday, February 26, 2024


I have attended the Planetshakers concert and conference three times. This is the fourth time. The excitement that I felt was as if it was the first time.

Experiences have a way of lingering in our hearts and minds long after the music fades. It's like the embers of a fire that continue to glow even after the flames have died down.

When we're still high on the energy and emotion of a praise and worship celebration, it's a perfect time to reflect on the significance of that experience. Those moments stood out the most – the songs that enlivened my soul, the prayers that resonated with my heart, and the sense of unity and connection with others who were worshiping alongside me.

As I bask in the afterglow of the concert, it strengthened and deepened my relationship with God. It allows the joy and excitement to fuel the passion for worship and motivate living out the faith in tangible ways.  you'll find that the high you're feeling now is just the beginning of a deeper, more intimate journey with God – one that will sustain you long after the echoes of the concert have faded away. Even though you had just met them, it did not matter who they were. The fellowship in the name of Jesus created a bond or a common ground. That's what He does.

It's a beautiful opportunity to reflect deeply on the significance of what we've encountered. In those moments, it's as if the music and the atmosphere have built a divine connection, drawing us closer to God and to each other. The songs, with their powerful lyrics and melodies, become like prayers lifting our hearts to the heavens. The collective voices of fellow worshippers and the band create a symphony of praise that resonates within us, reminding us that we are part of something greater than ourselves.

Indeed, God showed me His glory. His presence. His love. His mercy. His grace. His healing. His forgiveness. His glory. They were manifested in every way. He filled the atmosphere and all the people just flowed and swayed to the rhythm of His goodness and faithfulness. 

Like the lyrics of the song say:

You've turned my mourning into dancing

You've turned my sorrow into joy

You've turned the page, 'cause it's not over

Yes, HE did! Through this event hearts were transformed, prayers were answered, and lives were changed. As the event came to a close, every worshipper brought home with them, new joy, new hope, and a new life, and of course, new songs to play and sing along with. May God continue to bless Planetshakers, the vessel of Jesus into this world.