It Ends With Us: Realizations

 It Ends with Us" by Colleen Hoover is a popular contemporary romance novel that explores themes of love, domestic violence, and personal growth. The book was first published in 2016 and has received widespread acclaim for its emotional depth and powerful storytelling. Currently, a movie adaptation is attracting a significant audience, especially among book fans.

I came across the book three years ago when it went viral on TikTok. I read it in one sitting, yet its aftermath lingered for a long time.

Fast forward to now, after watching the movie adaptation, I found myself deeply reflecting on the complex emotions and difficult decisions the characters faced. The story touched me in ways I hadn’t expected, and it brought about several profound realizations that have stayed with me since.

1. Understanding the Duality of Love: Beauty and Pain

One of the first things that struck me was the dual nature of love—how it can be both incredibly beautiful and intensely painful at the same time. As I watched Lily's story unfold, I realized that love isn’t always the pure, uncomplicated force that we often imagine it to be. In the novel, love is layered with complexities, especially when it’s tied to someone who also causes pain. This realization made me think about the relationships in my own life and how sometimes, the very things that draw us to someone can also be the things that hurt us the most. It was a sobering thought, recognizing that love alone might not be enough to sustain a relationship when it’s marred by harm and toxicity.

2. The Complexity of Domestic Abuse: More Than Just Physical Harm

Second was how domestic abuse is not just about physical violence—it’s about control, manipulation, and emotional turmoil. The story made me understand that abuse can start subtly and escalate over time, often making it difficult for the victim to recognize it until they’re deeply entangled. Watching Lily’s struggle, I realized just how complicated it can be for someone to leave an abusive relationship, especially when love and fear are so intertwined. This realization made me more empathetic towards those who stay in such relationships, understanding that it’s not just a matter of walking away; it’s a battle against deep emotional bonds, fear of the unknown, and sometimes, hope that things will change.

3. The Courage to Break the Cycle of Abuse

The third was about the immense courage it takes to break the cycle of abuse. Watching Lily make the difficult decision to end her relationship with Ryle, despite still loving him, was incredibly powerful. I realized that breaking free from an abusive relationship isn’t just about leaving the person—it’s about making a conscious decision to change the course of your life and the lives of those who come after you. This realization made me reflect on the importance of self-worth and the strength it takes to put your well-being above the love you have for someone else, especially when that love is toxic. It reinforced for me that sometimes, the hardest decisions are the ones that lead to the most profound personal growth.

4. Empathy for the Abuser: Understanding Without Justifying

I also found myself grappling with the empathy I felt for Ryle, the abuser. The story does a remarkable job of showing his backstory and internal struggles, which made me see him as more than just a villain. This realization was difficult because it made me understand that abusers are often shaped by their own traumas and pain. However, this understanding doesn’t excuse their actions. I realized that it’s possible to feel empathy for someone’s struggles while still holding them accountable for their harmful behavior. This nuanced view of Ryle made me think about how we often categorize people as purely good or bad, but in reality, everyone is a mix of both, shaped by their experiences.

5. The Importance of Self-Worth and Setting Boundaries

 Lily’s journey also made me realize the importance of self-worth and the necessity of setting boundaries in relationships. As I watched her struggle with her feelings for Ryle, I saw the internal battle she faced between her love for him and her need to protect herself and her future. This realization hit home for me, making me understand that valuing myself and my well-being should always come first, even when it means making difficult and painful decisions. It made me reflect on my own life and consider where I might need to set firmer boundaries to ensure that I’m prioritizing my mental and emotional health.

6. The Power of a Support System

What also prevailed in the storyline was how crucial a strong support system is during difficult times. Throughout Lily’s journey, the people around her—whether it was her mother, her friends, or even Atlas—played a significant role in helping her navigate her challenges. This realization made me appreciate the support systems I have in my own life and reminded me of the importance of leaning on others when I need help. It also made me more aware of the role I play in other people’s lives and the importance of being there for those I care about.

7. The Impact of Trauma on Future Generations

However, one of the most profound realizations I had was about the impact of trauma on future generations. Lily’s determination to break the cycle of abuse for the sake of her daughter made me think about how our experiences shape not only our lives but also the lives of those who come after us. This realization was a reminder of the responsibility we have to address our traumas and work through them, so we don’t pass them down. It made me reflect on my own life and the patterns I might need to break to create a healthier future for myself and those around me.

8. Strength in Vulnerability

Finally, there is immense strength in vulnerability. Lily’s willingness to confront her past, face her pain, and make tough decisions showed me that vulnerability isn’t a weakness—it’s a form of strength. This realization was liberating, as it made me see that being open about my struggles and emotions is not something to be ashamed of, but rather, it’s a path to growth and healing. It encouraged me to embrace my vulnerabilities and see them as a source of resilience rather than something to hide.

A Friend Named.... Ceiling

Late at night, when the world outside my window has surrendered to the quiet stillness of slumber, I lie awake in my bed, tracing invisible patterns on the ceiling above me. It has become my silent companion, an impartial witness to the thoughts that swirl relentlessly through my mind. The ceiling, with its cracks and specks, has become a canvas for my restless imagination, a space where I can project my innermost musings and fears.

I remember when our nights used to be filled with whispered secrets and shared dreams. But those nights seem distant now, like echoes fading into the night.

Tonight, as the shadows lengthen and the moon casts a pale glow through the curtains, I can't help but feel the weight of your absence. You are here, yet so far away. 

As I stare up at the ceiling, I find myself creating stories in the patterns of the plaster. There is a crack that runs from one corner to the other, and I imagine it as a river, winding its way through a forgotten land. In my mind's eye, I follow its course, letting it take me far from this room and the ache in my heart.

I have become friends with the ceiling, confiding in it the secrets I can no longer share with you. It listens without judgment, a silent sentinel to my midnight confessions. I tell it of my longing, my confusion and my hurts. I trace the lines with my eyes, as if seeking answers in the chaos of the patterns.

Each night, I find solace in my newfound friend. The ceiling does not demand explanations or offer false reassurances. It simply exists, steady and unchanging, a stark contrast to the shifting sands of our relationship. I envy its constancy, its ability to remain unaffected by the storms that rage below.

I remember the first time I noticed the distance growing between us. It was a gradual thing, creeping in like the slow spread of dawn light. At first, it was subtle – a missed call, a distracted look, a conversation cut short. But over time, it became impossible to ignore. You were physically present, but emotionally absent, your mind occupied by thoughts of someone else.

I tried to reach out, to bridge the gap, but my efforts seemed futile. The more I tried to hold on, the further you slipped away. I began to feel like a ghost, haunting the edges of your life, unseen and unheard. And so, I turned to the only thing that seemed to understand – the ceiling.

In the quiet hours of the night, I tell it of my dreams, my hopes for the future.  The ceiling offers no answers, only the steady comfort of its presence.

As the nights pass, I find myself growing stronger in the silence. The ceiling has taught me to embrace the stillness, to find peace in the quiet moments. I learn to be content with my own company, to find strength within myself. I realize that I cannot make you nor force you to stay. All I can do is be true to myself, to hold on to the person I am becoming.

And so, I continue to confide in the ceiling, my steadfast friend. I share my fears, my triumphs, my small victories. I tell it of the days when I feel strong, when I can face the world with a smile. I speak of the nights when the loneliness threatens to overwhelm me, when the ache in my heart feels unbearable.

Through it all, the ceiling remains, a silent witness to my journey. It has seen me at my weakest, my most vulnerable, and yet it does not judge. It simply exists, a constant presence in a world that feels ever-changing.

I am learning to accept it, to find peace in the knowledge that I cannot control one's feelings toward me. I can only control my own, and in that, I find a measure of strength.

The ceiling has become a symbol of my resilience, a reminder that I can endure, that I can find my way through the darkness. It has shown me that I am not alone, that even in the silence, there is companionship to be found.

And so, I continue to make friends with the ceiling, to find solace in its steady presence. I know that the road ahead will not be easy, that there will be days when the loneliness feels overwhelming. But I also know that I am stronger than I once believed, that I can find my way through the darkness.

As I lie here, staring up at the ceiling, I make a promise to myself. I will not be defined by the loss. I will find my own way, my own path, and I will walk it with my head held high. The ceiling has taught me that I can endure, that I can find strength in the quiet moments.

And so, I close my eyes, letting the comfort of the ceiling's presence wash over me. I may be alone, but I am not lost. I am finding my way, one night at a time, with the ceiling as my steadfast friend.

My Comet

Once upon a time, in the vast expanse of the cosmos, there was a solitary comet drifting through the darkness. It traveled aimlessly, its path dictated by the whims of the universe. It was a celestial wanderer, neither bound by gravity nor tethered to any particular star.

Much like this comet, you entered my life—an unexpected, dazzling presence amidst the mundane routine of my existence. You brought with you the brightness that illuminated the darkest corners of my soul, casting aside shadows of doubt and loneliness. With each encounter, you left behind a trail of wonder and awe, like the brilliant tail of a comet streaking across the night sky.

But just as swiftly as you appeared, you would fade away, disappearing into the depths of space, leaving me longing for your return. I would gaze up at the heavens, searching for any sign of your presence, but you remained elusive, a fleeting specter in the cosmic dance.

Much like the comet, you were unpredictable and elusive, your orbit intersecting with mine only briefly before you continued on your solitary journey through the cosmos. You eluded me at every turn, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. And just like the comet, you left me longing for more, yearning for a connection that was never meant to be. And though I wished for nothing more than to hold onto you, to tether you to my life like a star bound to its galaxy, I knew deep down that you were meant to roam freely, unrestrained by earthly bonds.

And so, I watched from afar as you faded into the distance, a bittersweet reminder of the transient nature of beauty and love in this vast universe. Like the comet, you would forever remain etched in the fabric of my being, a poignant reminder of the beauty that exists in fleeting moments of connection amidst the vast expanse of eternity. 

Sudden Indifference

In the quiet of twilight's embrace,

A story unfolds, a somber grace.

When he, with silent steps, does part,

Leaving behind a fractured heart.

Once entwined in a tapestry of dreams,

Now torn asunder, or so it seems.

His departure whispers secrets untold,

Leaving me stranded, shivering, and cold.

In the corridors of memory's maze,

His presence fades, lost in the haze.

No longer familiar, his face grown strange,

A specter haunting the winds of change.

Gone are the days of laughter and light,

Now swallowed by the depths of night.

Left to wander in this realm alone,

A stranger in a world once known.

Yet amidst the ache, a flicker ignites,

A flame of resilience amidst the nights.

For though he's left, I'll find my way,

Reclaiming my voice, come what may.

So let him go, let him fade into mist,

For in his absence, I shall persist.

No longer defined by his departure's sting,

I'll rise anew, a phoenix taking wing.

In the quiet echo of fading whispers,

He chose a path diverging from mine,

A journey onward, leaving me behind,

In the shadowed corners of his past.

Once, his gaze traced constellations in my eyes,

A universe of shared dreams and whispered hopes,

But now, his attention drifts like autumn leaves,

Scattered, forgotten in the winds of change.

His footsteps falter, straying from our familiar path,

Leaving me stranded in the silence of his absence,

Like a forgotten verse in an unwritten poem,

Lost amidst the pages of time's relentless march.

I linger in the spaces where his presence once danced,

A ghost of memories haunting empty rooms,

Longing for the warmth of his gaze,

Yet finding only the chill of indifference.

But in the quiet of this solitude,

I find strength in the echoes of my own voice,

For I am more than a footnote in his story,

I am the author of my own journey's arc.

Though he may choose to move on,

Leaving me like a stranger in his tale,

I will forge ahead with unwavering resolve,

Writing my own narrative, bold and free. 

Mirror, Mirror

 In the gentle echo of a whispered conversation,

Where words find solace in mutual fascination,

There lies a wondrous phenomenon, sweet and rare,

Where two souls align in a symphony of shared affair.

It's in the subtlety of his smile, the glint in his eye,

When he discovers my passions, he doesn't deny.

For in the depths of his listening, a treasure he finds,

A glimpse into the world that occupies my mind.

When he likes what I like because he heard it from me,

It's as if he's opened a door, inviting me to see,

That in the realm of our interests, there's room to explore,

A landscape of wonder and discovery galore.

He takes my words not as mere passing breeze,

But as whispers of truth, as gentle pleas,

To delve into the realms that ignite my flame,

To share in the joy, to play in the same game.

It's not just the objects, the books, or the art,

But the essence of connection that sets us apart.

For in his mirrored admiration, I find a kindred soul,

Whose heart beats in rhythm with mine, making me whole.

In his willingness to embrace what I hold dear,

I see the depth of his care, crystal clear.

For it's not about the things, but the bond we share,

In the moments of likeness, in the love that's there.

So when he likes what I like because he heard it from me,

It's a testament to the magic that's meant to be.

For in his mirrored affection, I find my guide,

Navigating life's journey, side by side.

Through laughter and tears, through joy and strife,

His mirrored likes are a reflection of life.

And in the symphony of our shared affection,

We find solace, we find connection.

So here's to the beauty of mirrored delight,

To the dance of souls in the quiet of night.

For in his mirrored likes, I see a love that's true,

A love that echoes my own, in all that we do.